How we are perceived as communicators

This week we discussed how we perceived ourselves as communicators.  We also took three assessments to measure our levels of communication anxiety, verbal aggression and listening styles.  In my opinion, communication is the key to success.  It is vital in all aspects of our lives.  I chose the cartoon above because I thought it was silly, but in all actuality, there is much truth in it!  We must learn how to communicate with others if we want to move ahead in this life.

I feel I know myself pretty well.  The assessments definitely helped prove this fact.  I am considered to have low communication anxiety, moderate verbal aggression and an empathetic listening style.  I had my assistant director and husband take these tests and their scores were very close to my own.  In fact, their results placed me in the same three categories as my own.  This did not surprise me because I consider myself to be a very genuine person.  I act the same professionally as I do personally.  Those around me can usually read me like a book!  

The area I would like to improve upon is my empathetic listening style.  I feel I often become wrapped up in others' personal circumstances and it becomes difficult to maintain a clear head when trying to deal with uncomfortable professional and personal situations.  My goal is to learn to prioritize my professional and personal topics and get my point across without being drastically emotionally impacted by the other person's state.

Communication and Cultural Diversity

Effective Communication & Cultural Diversity

I consider myself to be an extremely genuine person.  I feel everyone deserves my respect, support and attention if they so desire it.  I am no better than anyone else and value each and every opportunity I have to communicate with someone new; it gives me the opportunity to see life through their eyes.  I have learned so much from others and truly feel blessed with each new relationship I form.

As far as communicating differently with diverse groups of people, of course this is the case.  Although I am genuine and remain true to myself, there are many facets to my own character.  I consider myself extremely perceptive and aware of my surroundings, and I make it a point to analyze the character of others to the best of my ability while communicating with them.  I am different with my close friends than I am with my employees, but I am still more open and relaxed with them than I am with the parents I deal with on a daily basis.  Some parents have been part of our school for a few years and they have become closer to me than when they were new, I am able to be a bit more laid back while communicating with them. They know me and understand my sense of humor.

When I meet a new family I immediately greet them with a warm smile and welcome them to the school.  This is always the same with everyone that comes through the door.  It is their body language and reaction to my actions that guides my next move.  Sometimes I am greeted with a warm smile and handshake.  This indicates I can approach the family, bend down on my knee and greet the child.  If I am greeted with a quick hello and some immediate questions, I know to keep it a bit more professional.  Sometimes I get families who speak little English.  With them I try to speak slowly and use many hand gestures to aid in my communication.  I may even walk them into a classroom where I have a Spanish speaking employee (if their language is Spanish) and they can begin speaking to them.  I try not to ask the employee unless they request it.  I don't want them to feel singled out because of their language.  Usually, the employee gathers they are Spanish speaking and begins talking, and this makes them more comfortable.

I feel communication is the single most important aspect of life.  I will continue to strive to become the most effective communicator I can be.

Communicating without sound

This week, I chose to watch a show my kids always watch on Disney Channel.  I have never paid attention before but thought it would be fun to check it out since it is something they enjoy!

Watching without sound
The episode begins with two teenage boys jumping around playing pretend basketball inside of some sort of music store.  A young girl, appearing to be maybe their big sister, comes in to reprimand them.  She seems to want them to stop jumping around in the store and behave themselves.  Then, a girl all dressed up in some sort of party dress comes in and begins explaining her dilemma.  She has her hands on her hips, a concerned look on her face, and continues shrugging her shoulders and pacing.  The four of them begin discussing something and it appears they are trying to help her.

The next clip shows the girl in the party dress and the two boys hanging out in a game room discussing things.  It seems they are designing some type of flyer for her on their big screen monitor.  Next, she and the other girl are shopping and have invitations in buckets.  They both seem happy and determined.  They run in to a boy who the girls obviously think is very cute.  They begin blushing and laughing and acting silly.  The girl who seems to be throwing a party gives the boy an invitation and the other girl seems to be upset by this.  Her eyebrows are raised and she is concerned, but the other girl begins asking her to picture something and they both look up to the air and smile.  It seems the two of them are good friends.

Next, one of the girls brings a boy into the game room and she watches him do some dance moves.  She tries some and they dance together.  They seem to be planning a routine for the party.  The boy falls and seems to sprain his ankle.  The other boys from the beginning try to bring ice and he tries to put ice on it, but he rejects it, acts as if he is ok, and tries to walk.  He cannot walk and realizes he will not be able to perform for the party.  The girl comes in and it seems they are trying to make arrangements for an alternative solution.

Next, the girl and boy with the sprained ankle arrive at the party and it appears to be a 15th birthday party because there are signs up.  They seem to be boyfriend and girlfriend.  The girl who was in the party dress in the beginning comes out on stage and begins speaking.  Everyone begins dancing but the girl with the boy who had the sprained ankle is just sitting at the table with him.  The boy who was supposed to dance with her us wearing a silly costume goofing off.  She seems to be very upset with him for not dancing with her.  Finally, she gets up and asks the boy they saw at the mall to dance with her.  She begins dancing by herself in front of him and he is just standing there looking awkward.  She tries to talk him into dancing but he walks away.  Her friend comes over and tries to make her feel better.  Then the boy who was goofing off swings from some sort of vine and ruins the party knocking things over.

Next shot is the mess of a party; all gifts are on the floor, food spilled, and the friends are trying to figure out what to do.  The girl who was upset and embarrassed was is missing and her friends are concerned.  Later they find her hiding under the table.  The boy with the sprained ankle crawls under to try to make her feel better.  She begins to smile a little.and then feels better.  They clean up the party and in the end the band performs; the boy with the ankle sits in a chair.  The cute boy returns and the girl is bothered again.  The boy with the sprained ankle sees this, leaves the stage, and dances with the girl with his ankle brace on.  She falls, is horrified, but then they continue to dance.  The crowd leaves and the two of them are alone.  She appears to be thanking him.

All the friends leave and the girl is left alone in the party.  The cute boy comes back and they are talking.  She laughs and he laughs, and they appear to be making fun of each other's dancing styles.  It seems he told her he didn't dance with her because he wasn't good at dancing.  It seems she was also afraid of dancing and they begin dancing goofy together and that ends the show.

Watching with sound
I was truly amazed at how accurate my predictions were based on the characters body language.  A few things were unclear at first, but by the end of the episode, I pretty much was able to piece together the entire story.  The four teens were only friends, and the boy from the mall was someone she had a long time crush on.  Since they invited the boy to her friends birthday party, her friend agreed to give her dancing lessons so she could possible dance with the boy she liked.  However, during the lesson her clumsiness caused him to fall and sprain his ankle.  He was unable to give her lessons.  At the party, she decided to ask the boy to dance anyway, but he got flustered, said no and left.  When he came back later he admitted he didn't know how to dance either.

I enjoyed this episode and realized it was actually regarding a girls insecurities regarding her ability to dance. Her friends pulled together to do all they could to try and help her learn how to dance so she could impress the boy of her dreams.  My "aha" moment was at the end when the boy came and admitted that when he saw her fall down, he realized she could not dance. He came back to tell her the reason he left as because he was also ashamed.  I think this show provided a valuable lesson for young people.  Sometimes we try to so hard to impress others and we are afraid of what they will think because we build them up in our mind to be perfect.  The truth is, everyone has problems and it's ok to be yourself!

After this exercise I am amazed at how much body language and surrounding really say to others.  I will be more aware of my own actions in the future, and more perceptive of the actions of those around me!

Effective Communication

Pastor Scott Vander Ploeg

Pastor

Employer

Friend

When I think of an effective communicator, the picture of the man above immediately pops into my head.  Pastor Scott Vander Ploeg is one of the best communicators I think I have ever met.  The first time I met him was in my job interview.  

I was planning on moving to a new city, and during a brief visit, I set up an interview with a church for the opening of a preschool office assistant.  I was looking for something temporary until I found something in the finance field, which was my background at the time.  This was a Christian Reformed church, and I was raised Catholic; it was my first experience with a church outside the denomination.  I met with the director of the school and we talked for quite a while.  After our discussion she said she would call in the pastor to meet with us.  I was extremely nervous and had no idea what to expect.  My only experience had been with priests my whole life and could not imagine what type of conversation we might have!

When Pastor Scott entered the room he was not at all what I expected. His warm smile, genuine personality, and friendly demeanor put me immediately at ease.  He spoke with us briefly about the background of the school and the future possibilities.  His passion and excitement was immediately evident, and I felt myself drawn toward him, his mission, and the school.  They invited me to attend church there on Sunday so I could get acquainted with the atmosphere.

Church was strange for me to say the least.  When I arrived their was a band playing and people were singing, clapping and smiling.  This was not like any Catholic service I had been to.  When Pastor Scott came out, he read a passage from the Bible and then began to tell a story about his own personal life.  At first, the story seemed to have nothing to do with the Bible passage, but in the end, it all tied together somehow and I was totally drawn in.  It was almost as if I was attending a college course on theology.  He was not preaching to us, but teaching us.  Explaining things first from his perspective, and then offering examples from other people's stories that may apply to several of the people in the room.  It was then I knew that was the place for me.

Although I initially accepted the job as something temporary, I am now the director of the school.  At the time I began working we had two classrooms in the church and about 40 students.  Not long after I started I enrolled in school, completed my necessary coursework, and began planning for an expansion that has now led us to 7 classrooms and 180 students, only 5 years later.  The reason I stayed is because Pastor Scott gave me something to believe in, to follow, and to admire.  His love of others and passion for education was so strong I could feel it, and I wanted to exude that same passion among my staff and families.

Pastor Scott has been my inspiration and I try to emulate his communication characteristics.  He listens first and is very attentive to what those around him are doing and saying at all times.  He considers others feelings and is not judgmental.  He is very open and willing to consider all possibilities before making a decision.  He is a team player.  He is not uptight, and in fact often acts silly.  Others are always relaxed in his presence.  He often offers examples of his own shortcomings and is not afraid to let others know he is not perfect.  People know that he cares about them.   When it comes to delivering difficult information, which he does every Sunday in church when teaching the Bible, he breaks it down into familiar terms everyone can understand.  He explains the root of everything before uncovering the big picture.

I am blessed to work so closely with this man and feel we make a great team!  I only hope to continue to develop my communication skills and be as effective as him one day!

Professional Hopes and Goals

HOPE

My hope is through working with children and families, I will continue to celebrate and appreciate their diversity, and instill in them that they are truly unique and possess special gifts from God.  By reminding them that God created us all different so we could share our gifts and work together to build each other up and achieve common goals, I feel they will develop a sense of self-worth and belonging.

GOAL

My goal is to continue to train my staff on the importance of embracing diversity, and to have them do the same within the classroom.  I plan to hold professional development sessions on an annual basis, and distribute scholarly journal articles and self-reflection assignments throughout the year in an effort to achieve this goal.  I will also keep my families informed and try to be the inspiration they need to begin exploring the value of diversity.

APPRECIATION

I want to express my sincere gratitude and appreciation for my colleagues who have taken the journey of this course with me.  I feel by sharing our insights, we have all grown both personally and professionally.  It has been an honor and a privilege working alongside all of you, and the realization that there are so many of you out there with similar hopes and goals helps me feel even more confident that we can truly be the change our society needs!

Welcoming Families from Around the World

ZIMBABWE

This week we were asked to choose a country we knew nothing about, and consider the hypothetical situation of welcoming a new family to my school who had recently moved from there.  Zimbabwe was the first country that popped into my head.  I have always been fascinated by Africa and wanted to learn more about it.  

In doing my research for this assignment, I found the following information useful in helping me relate to the family and make them feel more welcome upon their arrival.  I want them to know we embrace diversity and respect their culture, and I also want this attitude to be present with all the teachers and students.

1.  As you can see above, Zimbabwe is rated as "very low" on the global peace index.  There is much turmoil within their government and has been for years.  I found that Zimbabwe celebrates their Independence Day on April 18th.  In 1980, the government called for a ceasefire in a terrible war, created a Declaration of Independence, and began holding free elections.  On or around April 18th, I would plan to celebrate this Independence Day in class with the kids.  Obviously, I would prepare developmentally appropriate lessons and explain to them different countries have different holidays.  I would compare this day  with our own Independence Day, July 4th, and we would do art projects using the flag of Zimbabwe and maybe decorate our own cookies icing the colors of the flag.  I feel this would be a great way to celebrate their culture.

2.  My school offers a Cultural Enrichment class where children explore other cultures and countries in their classroom.  We usually teach them how to say a few words in each language. Mhoro is hello to an individual person, and Mhoroi is hello to a group.  I think it would be really cool for the class to make a poster welcoming the new child with this word, as well as have them say it!  They could even make a card for him to send home to his new family.

3.  In our cultural enrichment program, we also contact several preschools around the world and exchange correspondence.  With this family moving from Zimbabwe, I would approach them an early childhood contact in their country.  The class would make pictures and crafts for the children at that school and we would send them there.  The teachers would hopefully exchange correspondence to be read to the children.  

4.  We always invite the families of our cultural enrichment students to come in and share something from their culture with the children when we are studying specific countries.  We would plan to study Zimbabwe and invite the parents to bring in a snack, photos, or heirlooms from their culture to show the children.

5.  Our children have a rest time during our cultural enrichment class.  We put out mats and turn the lights down low and play soft music.  Zimbabwe is known for their music with the mbira, which is a thumb piano.  I would teach the children about the music and let it play during nap time.  We could also do music and movement, or play our own instruments to more upbeat music during class.

I think all of these activities would make the family feel welcomed, respected and appreciated.  I also feel that the family's involvement would be such a huge gift to the school.  As a leader, I am always looking for EVERYONE's gifts and talents, including my employees and our families.  Once I figure them out I always give opportunities for them to share these gifts with the good to expand their knowledge!

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice and Oppression

As the director of a preschool, I am responsible for a staff of twenty.  We don't often have turnover, but when we do, I create all the job postings and receive the resumes.  I often select the candidates I would like to interview, and then the members of our personnel committee from the school board conduct all interviews with me.  After the interviews are over we compare notes and agree on the candidate we think would be the best fit for our school.

I would like to share a incident where I feel bias, prejudice and oppression became an issue.  I received a resume from a highly qualified individual.  I was very excited and called her immediately.  We talked on the phone for a while and I felt as if we understood each other and got along quite well.  We covered a lot of the details over the phone and then I set up the interview.  When the personnel committee arrived to conduct the interview, I showed them her resume and her pre-interview questionnaire.  I also indicated that I thought she was the perfect fit.  Everyone was equally excited.

When the young woman arrived she was not at all like I had pictured.  She was about six-feet tall, overweight, and had some facial hair.  She was dressed in a skirt down to her ankles and an over-sized top.  She was well-kept and clean, but not very attractive to say the least.  Immediately, I felt the tension rise in my office as we began the interview.  She had wonderful answers to all of the questions and was very qualified for the position.  Her personality still the same as the woman I had talked to on the phone.  The interview took place during the school day, so after the interview I gave her a tour of the classrooms.  My other staff members were all acting a bit strange and I could tell they did not welcome the idea of working with her.

Following the tour, I thanked her and told her I would be in touch.  When I returned to my office, the personnel committee and some of my staff members all expressed their dissatisfaction with the woman.  Comments such as, "She'll scare the children", "She doesn't fit into our image", "She looks like a man", circulated the room.  I knew she wouldn't fit in and didn't even try to fight it.

When I called her to let her know she did not get the job, I could hear the hurt in her voice.  After all, our phone conversation had gone so well, and I think she thought it was a sure thing coming into my office.  I am sure she felt some of the tension and strange looks she was receiving, and probably knew she was being discriminated against.  A few hours after we spoke, her mother actually called (which I admit is a bit strange) and expressed her anger that her daughter did not receive the job, indicating how hurt she was.  That made me feel just awful.

It has been about two or three years since that interview.  I attend monthly meetings with our Early Learning Coalition where all the providers in the county meet to discuss important topics regarding our state-funded pre-k program.  This young woman is now attending those meetings.  She has cleaned up a bit and looks a lot nicer than she did.  She is now a lead teacher, and at the last meeting, she was commended in front of everyone for the amazing things she is doing in her classroom.  At the last meeting, I ended up sitting next to her.  It is very uncomfortable for me because I still feel badly about the whole situation.

The feelings I experienced throughout this situation took me back to childhood.  I was always the one who ached for those that were the targets in my friend's jokes.  I didn't take part and would feel terribly for the children who were picked on.  I always wished I could have done more.  This is how I felt on the day of that interview.  I do know, however, that even if I would have been able to hire her, she may have had a hard time in our school if others would not accept her.  God has a plan for everyone and I am happy she found a place where she could fit in and flourish, but this still doesn't make the situation right.